Monday, 7 November 2011

Top 5 Paying Jobs in Nigeria

 I wonder why things is always the other way round in this country!
We were discussing the top 5 jobs in Nigeria on a forum, and this is what a friend posted. Thought I should share his analysis with you guys!

1.) Politics:

Minimum requirement: Toronto Certificate. None really. but for election, hmmm, maybe SSCE
Average Hourly Pay:  Depends. It is not un-heard of to make as 'low' as N100 Million per hour in this field. The opportunities are endless really
Best Career Move: Run for the Presidency or Speakership of the NASS. Honestly, all political posts pay very good. Be brave, thats all
Accomplished people in this field: Omisore: High school drop-out, Former deputy Governor of osun-State; Bola Tinubu: BSC/reformed drug baron turn Yoruba leader, Former Governor of Lagos; Evans Enwerem: High School drop-out/former convict,  Former Senate president; Ghalli Na'aba: SSCE (in view), Former Speaker.
Professional advancement: Pretty fast, as long as you do not offend your god-father.
Cons: god-fathers. They can do and un-do. Sometimes, it s very difficult to know whats going on in their mind and some of them with untreated mental issues make irrational/unpredictable decisions.

2) Church Business:

Minimum requirement: BSC in any of the Sciences.
Average Hourly Pay:  Depends on where you loacte your church HQ; Lagos Vs other states
Best Career Move: Start your own church, perform unverifiable miracles, raise the dead, scare the shyyt outta your congregation, avoid paying taxes, and give yourself the G.O title. Dont forget to add "Daddy" before the G.O title
Accomplished people in the field: Enoch Adejare Adeboye: Ph.D, Mathematics and RCCG; Oyakhilome: B.Arch, Christ Embassy; Oyedepo: Bsc, Faith Terbanacle; Kumuyi: BSc Mathematics & Deeper life; DK Olukoya ; PH.D Microbiology & MFM
Professional advancement: Depends on how educated you are. It is not surprising that, in a profession where eloquence and charisma is all you need, the most successful are also the most educated. The best business model by far in present day Nigeria. Peace of mind, no tax, as long as you have the patience to stay in school and study one of the rigorous science, preferably mathematics. And oh, before I forget, unlike other aspects of our public life, here, Nigerian degrees are actually preferred to the foreign ones. And most careers start on campus.

Notable Exception: TB Joshua. Nuff said!
Cons: None really.

3.) Banking:

Minimum requirement: OND ( plus some unknown/unemployable overseas certificate)
Average Hourly Pay:  Depends on creativity, connectivity, and personal ingenuity. Yearly pay could be as high as N150 Billion (Cecelia Ibru)
Best Career Move: Print your own money a la start your own bank
Accomplished people in the field: Erastus Adegbola:OND, Intercontinental; Fola Adeola: HND, GTB; Cecilia Ibru: MSc, Oceanic; Jim Ovia: BSc, Zenith
Professional advancement: Pretty fast, just start your own effing bank!
Cons: Bad belle people like the CBN governor. Political climate remain very unstable and tribalistic.

4) Human Rights Activists:

Minimum requirement: None. Most are HS drop-outs. Others Doctors, Layers and Nobel Laureates.
Average Hourly Pay:  Depends on proximity to the ND
Best Career Move: Start your own Militia/Kidnap VIPs
Accomplished people in the field: Asari Dokubo: Alhaji, Mend; Jomo Gbomo/Henry Okah: WASSCE, Fake MEND; Dr. Fredrick Faseun: MBBS, OPC/OCP/And all possible combinations of O, P, and C; Wole Soyinka: B.A., Professional critic and behind the scene oil well owner/ contractor
Professional advancement: Simply, No glass ceilings. Best advice, be brave and have good juju-men at your beck  and call.
Cons: Oil will soon run out. The future isnt  bright for this profession.

5) Yahoo 2.0

Minimum requirement: Studentship, course of study is irrelevant.
Average Hourly Pay:  Cant be calculated. Incomes are most often exaggerated. Nevertheless, very very very lucrative.
Best Career Move: Have a room on any university campus, federal universities preferably, and be willing to spend countless productive time in different cyber cafes.
Accomplished people in the field: TOBECHUWKU ONWUHARA, GED & TOP ten FBI list; Ade Bendel, HS drop-out & Convict; Fred Ajidua, WASSCE & Convict; Mr. Olaniyi Makinde, BSC Econs UNAD & Extradicted;
Professional advancement: Depends on luck, charm and EFCC. ROI is 100000%
Cons: Bad belle friends and the EFCC.

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